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Meditation 255
On the LDS Missionary Blacklist?

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I noticed a couple of Mormon missionaries on my street last week doing their periodic rounds. They are always identifiable by their clothing,[1] and, of course, because they wear their name tags identifying them as Elders in the LDS Church.

I got my handouts ready for when they rang my front door bell - and they walked quickly right past my house.

I don't know why this happened, or I would give out some advice to others on how to turn off their unwelcome visitations.

Perhaps it is because 10 years[2] worth of visits has convinced them that they cannot convert me. Perhaps it is because they have realized they are unable to adequately respond to the fundamental questions I have put to them. Perhaps it is because I may have caused one or more to question his faith. Or perhaps it is because on the last visit I rudely ordered them to stop wasting my time, to get off my property, and to stay off.

Whatever the reason, I hope I stay on their blacklist. I have no interest in seeing them again. I have seen enough of these LDS missionaries to form an assessment.

After about 25 visits in the past ten years, I will say they extremely ill-prepared to act as missionaries. Their knowledge of their own religion is rudimentary. They have no ability to deal with challenges to the details of their faith, other than refer to the Book of Mormon. They seem totally ignorant of the detailed account of the origin of the Book of Mormon, to the extent I have had it denied to my face, even though the origin is official LDS doctrine.[3]

However ignorant they are of their own religion, they seem incapable of dealing with the idea that there are non-Christian forms of belief. And the idea that the existence of a god could be questioned seems to them incomprehensible. They cannot handle the concept.

I don't know how they get qualified to call themselves "Elders," but it certainly is not through knowledge, age, nor experience.[4]

I have no dislike of Mormons themselves. I have several neighbours who are Mormons, and they are all fine and decent people. But my neighbours don't come up to my door trying to sell me their beliefs.

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Footnotes:

  1. If you ever want to dress like an LDS missionary for some obscure reason, then visit MissionaryMall.org.
  2. One of the problems of living in the west is the frequency of their visits - it has been as many as four times a year since I moved to Alberta. When I lived in Ontario, I only had to give them the brush-off about once every five years.
  3. The most amusing way to learn about the origin of the Book of Mormon is the South Park episode "All About Mormons." It closely, though not perfectly, follows the official LDS account, and exposes just how ludicrous the origin story is. On the other hand, it portrays Mormons themselves as quite good people. The attack is on beliefs, not the followers - a practice I wish I was consistently capable of.
  4. Perhaps I am using the wrong definition of "elder." Maybe I should consider them to be shrubs of the honeysuckle family. (Am I already ignoring my advice to myself in footnote 3?)