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Meditation 802
Intelligent Math

by: PuppyOnTheRadio

This article was originally published on Uncyclopedia, "the content free encyclopedia", as Intelligent Math. The author submitted as a possible response to Meditation 797 Conclusive Proof of God? Yeah, right! It was decided to make it a Meditation.

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Intelligent Mathematics (colloquially Intelligent Math) is the assertion that "certain features of the mathematics and numbers are best explained by an intelligent cause, not an undirected process such as logic and reasoning." It is a teleological proof of the existence of God. The idea was developed by a group of American theological scientists who recognising the nature of absolute truth have determined that modern mathematical thinking is flawed, and that science is currently feeding us false information.[1]


Understanding Intelligent MathIn 1956, Samuel Smith, a Fellow of the Royal Theological Society and the Royal Mathematics Society, released a book on Intelligent Mathematics titled Understanding Intelligent Math, which was released by the Gideon press.[1]

In this he proved beyond any shadow of a doubt that intelligent mathematics was a universally held opinion by out ancestors up until approximately 250BC. At this time a Greek Gentile by the name of Archimedes started to spread false witness about mathematics. He was obsessed by multi-dimensional facets, believed to be due to the fact that his name translated from the Koine Greek literally means little Arch.[1]

Understanding π

And he made the Sea of cast bronze, ten cubits from one brim to the other; it was completely round. Its height was five cubits, and a line of thirty cubits measured its circumference.

—1 Kings 7:23, NCE

However due to his love for Greek wine, Archimedes was short sighted and had issues understanding basic geometry, and started to calculate π as 3.14159 and a whole bunch of other numbers. This of course is blatantly incorrect, as the source of absolute truth shows us that a circle that is 10 cubits in diameter is actually 30 cubits in circumference. [1]

So, given that

π = C/d

Pi = 3
When a circle's diameter is 1, the circumference is π or 3.
where C is the circumference of a circle and d is your diameter, and as is stated in the example in the absolute truth
C = 30
d= 10


π = 30/10

π = 3[1]

Further study into this has shown that Archimedes was partially correct, however he was making some fundamental mistakes relating to the value of π. The digits after the decimal actually form a geometric series. If we were to extend this out to its full length, which would actually be infinite as π is transcendental, it would converge to the value zero.

Pseudo-scientists have argued that this is an unfair misrepresentation of Archimedes, however Archimedes has been proven to be false on numerous occasions. For instance, he was thought to have burnt invading ships during the Siege of Syracuse using only mirrors. René Descartes proved this as false, as it has been disproved by the most credible scientific minds for generations.[1]

As a side note to this, Descartes is often misquoted in a number of different areas, most notably with the statement Cogito, ergo sum. While this translates into English as I am thinking, therefore I exist, this was actually a mistranslation of the original in French, which reads as Je pense donc je suis. This is because he was relating this to a scribe, who actually misheard Dieu pense donc je suis, which translates as God thinks, therefore I am. This is teleological proof that God exists, because without him thinking us into existence, we wouldn't exist.[1]

The shape of the world

He sits enthroned above the circle of the earth, and its people are like grasshoppers. He stretches out the heavens like a canopy, and spreads them out like a tent to live in.

—Isaiah 40:22, NCE

Divinely inspired by this revelation that one of the fundamental block of our understanding of time, space, matter and the universe was fundamentally flawed, Smith looked deeper into the absolute truth in order to work out what other areas of understanding that we held that were fundamentally flawed. What he then realised changed the literal shape of the world for years to come.[1]

Despite what witches and demonologists like Galileo stated, the Earth could not be round, if God was enthroned above the circle of Earth, and the heavens were spread out over the Earth like a tent. Some pseudo-scientists in the past have argued that this is because when you look at a sphere from any angle it looks like a circle, and Koine Hebraic has sufficient grasp to be able to describe a sphere. This means that the Earth is flat.[1]

United Nations symbol

Emblem of the United Nations showing
that the Earth is indeed flat.

This was later updated in 1965 to show that the Apollo Moon landings were a hoax, staged by Hollywood and based on a script by Arthur C. Clarke. When demanded for evidence of this, Smith referred back to the letter sent by Clarke to Nasa, which read:

Intelligent Math
Dear Sir, on checking my records, I see that I have never received payment for this work. Could you please look into this matter with some urgency? Otherwise you will be hearing from my solicitors, Messrs Geldsnatch, Geldsnatch and Blubberclutch. [1]
Intelligent Math

Further from this Smith leant his considerable scientific mind into the study of cartography, and determined that the Earth was a disc 40,000 km in diameter. This would then mean that the circumference of the earth would be
π * 40,000km = 120,000km. [1]

He also then went on to disprove Newton, as if the Earth was flat then it obviously did not have gravity. The reason why things did not simply float off the Earth is that the Earth is being drawn toward God at the same rate we are. He proved this by having a cup filled with water having a hole in the side being dropped. As the cup and the water moved at the same rate, only a minimal amount of liquid came from the cup.[1]

The size of the universe

Where can I go from Thy Spirit? Or where can I flee from Thy presence? If I ascend to heaven, Thou art there; If I make my bed in Sheol, behold, Thou art there. If I take the wings of the dawn, If I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, Even there Thy hand will lead me, And Thy right hand will lay hold of me.

—Psalm 139:7-10, NCE

Smith then went on to look at the nature of God and the universe. Understanding firstly that God was omnipresent, Smith realised that for God to be within the universe then the universe would need to be large enough to encompass God. [1]

So the next question to ask is how large is God and that would determine how large the Universe was and from there determine how large the Universe was. So Smith reflected on the fact that God was omnipotent, meaning that he has infinite power. [1]

Therefore PGOD= ∞

And given that:

Power is directly proportional to Work (P = W/t)
Work is directly proportional to Energy (W = ∆Ek)
Energy is directly proportional to Mass ( e = mc2) [1]


The Earth as seen from "space" -
note that it is actually flat and round!

Then God having infinite power would therefore have infinite mass, and being that he is in the universe the universe would have to have infinite space for him to exist in. Therefore the Universe is infinite. [1]

Suggested reading

See also


  1. Understanding Intelligent Math. Samuel Smith, Gideon Press, 1956