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A Miscellany 377
Organized Agnostics - Who Knew?!

by: Kelly F

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I am 44 years old and cannot believe that I didn’t know about organized Agnostics! I have found you!

I grew up with two parents who were forced as children to attend church and worship God. When they married and started a family, they decided that they would not do that to their children. So I never really went to church unless it was with a friend. And none of those friends or their parents could ever answer my many questions to my satisfaction.

As I grew up and came into myself, I found that discussions about religion and beliefs were often ended abruptly when I stated my opinion – that without proof, I couldn’t make a decision about my beliefs. Of course, every single one of them tried to use the Bible as their proof, but to that I would always say, “Who’s to say that that book wasn’t just the writing of a great writer with an incredible imagination?” Nobody ever liked that answer, either.

I am married to a Catholic man and we agreed to raise our son in the Catholic Church. He attends a Catholic school and is doing very well there. My husband knows of my lack of belief, but we don’t actively discuss it. And I privately question his actual belief, as every time I ask a question to better understand the Catholic religion, his answer is always, “Because that’s just the way it’s always been.” That answer frustrates me so entirely that after about a year, I stopped attending church with my husband and son. The blind following of rituals without knowing why they’re important just baffles me.

I never knew that there was an organized group of us! I just never looked for one. I knew I wasn’t alone in my beliefs, or lack of them, but it was just easier to keep it to myself and not make waves.

Now that I’ve found you, I will continue to keep my newfound knowledge private. I will continue to allow my son to be Catholic and hope that as he grows up he asks enough questions to make an informed decision of what he believes. I will continue to answer his questions as honestly as I know how, but most of the time I just tell him that I don’t understand the Catholic religion and that he should ask his father. So far, the lack of answers hasn’t made him doubt his young beliefs. I suppose that is a good thing – children need to believe, no matter what it is they believe IN.

I love all of the colors and decorations of Christmas, so I will continue to make this an important family season. Other than my son’s advent calendar, none of our decorations are religious in nature – I wonder now why my husband has never questioned that. I will go to Christmas Eve and Easter masses with my family, because these are important events for them. But I will continue to keep my eyes open for factual answers. And right now, as I write this, I wonder if my knowledge of this group of people will change anything for me other than give me peace of mind.

I am not ready to officially join you, but I will certainly pay close attention to your web site and read everything I can about being agnostic. Thank you.