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Ask the Patriarch 6
Do you believe in UFOs?

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An anonymous correspondent writes:

As an Agnostic, do you believe in UFOs?

The Patriarch replies:

Like any other intelligent and rational person, I have a firm belief in UFOs. In fact, I have seen a few myself.

Of course, I hold to the original meaning of UFO, that is Unidentified Flying Object, which is an object, apparently moving in the sky, that we cannot identify.

Though, if you intended to ask me whether I believe spacecraft containing visitors from the seventh planet of the star Vrodzlak Minor in the Greater Miskatonic Galaxy visit the planet Earth on occasion, I would have to answer no. I do not believe it.

Addendum: And to all the Area 51 cover-up conspiracy theorists I would suggest the following: Having spent over 30 years in the military, I came to the conclusion that the purpose of a military is to obtain and spend as much money as possible for the purchase of interesting and highly technical toys. The defense of the nation is the justification for obtaining the money. If the US Air Force had credible proof of aliens visiting, they would not cover up under any circumstances. They would publicize it as much as possible so as substantiate the purchase of more toys for flyboys.

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